I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
