let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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