Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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