All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
ttyl tear gas
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
