Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You need Xanax blowdarts
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize