Christians are straight up FREAKS
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
