I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
whose parrot is this?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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