Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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