Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
