Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She even gives head with a lisp.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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