If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
