Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
