Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
