i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
pray to the hookup gods
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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