their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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