What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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