are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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