just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
