You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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