2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
