Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
