Dual....:-)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
