i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize