You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
