Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize