id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
