we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
