Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
