I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
