there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
