i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
PANTIES FOUND
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