Nicole vs. Life
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
