My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
