eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
