Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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