i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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