Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
