i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
