Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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