Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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