hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
A+ Viking dick
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
