We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
