Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
