I wannas sexs uuuuu
Soap is not a condiment
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
