Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
