okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
