My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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