she was so not down for the gang bang
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
