There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
