what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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