So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
