if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
