lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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