and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize