u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you inspire me to be a worse person
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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