just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
