i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the condom got lost in my hair
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
