Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
